Since the minute Leah was placed in my arms, I was in love. This is no secret. And it certainly isn't an oddity....what mother doesn't love her child? I was immediately overwhelmed by the power of the love I felt for her. Despite all the times I had heard my father say "you will not believe how much you can love someone" it still hit me hard.
What continues to amaze me is how that love just keeps growing and changing. Just when I'm sure she's done all she could to amaze me, she does another 10 things.
While we were waiting during Ryan's eye surgery, she found about a million ways to keep herself entertained. We watched TV, watched parts of a movie, colored, played with dolls...you name it...we did it for at least a few minutes! Towards the end of the waiting, I was starting to get nervous because it seemed to be taking too long...and she noticed, and made sure to keep herself busy. It felt as if she interacted with me just enough to make sure that I was okay, but not so much as to get annoyed. She made up the cutest game.
She has this little purple "suite case" filled with crayons, markers, colored pencils and stuff. She put a couple of small notebooks inside. She walked over to me with her Barbie and said "Mommy? Can you please keep watch of my Barbie while I go to work?" well...of course! So, I took the Barbie and held her on my lap and watched as she went to work. She closed the door of the little children's waiting room and waved on her way out the door. Then, she walked a few feet down the hall where a kid's hummer was parked (not sure why it was there since it didn't seem to work...but she loved it nonetheless). She climbed into the Hummer, carefully placing her "briefcase" on the seat beside her...buckled herself in...looked back for one last wave goodbye and then "drove" herself to work. Once she got there, she unbuckled herself, grabbed her briefcase, and then walked into another part of the waiting room. (The children's waiting room was enclosed in glass, so I could see wherever she went). She sat down, opened up her briefcase, took out the notebooks and papers and began diligently working. When she was done, she reversed the whole thing and came back into the waiting room to pick up her Barbie, thanking me profusely for taking such good care of her!
When it was time to go into the recovery room she was a little nervous since there were lots of machines and doctors and weird looking things all around. I turned my back for a second to talk to the nurse and when I turned back around, Leah was standing next to Ryan's bed, gently rubbing his back while crooning "Its okay Daddy! You are going to be okay!"...my heart literally felt like it was going to jump out of my chest.
When we got to our hotel after the surgery, which Leah had been DYING to get to since we told her we were going, she immediately made herself comfortable and was loving every minute. Shortly thereafter, her Aunt Barb came to pick her up to stay overnight at her house so Ryan and I could get some rest...and peace and quiet. When I first told her, she started to fuss...saying "But I want to stay at the hotel!"...I hugged her and whispered "Daddy just had a really important doctor visit and the doctor wants to make sure that he has plenty of rest. So, we are going to stay here tonight and then we will see you tomorrow, okay?" She quickly looked at Ryan, then quickly at her Aunt, then back to me...processing this crazy idea and said "Okay Mom. See you Tomorrow"....then ran out the door, never looking back.
It might seem like normal things that kids do, but I can not get over that at not quite 4 years old, she has managed to develop this amazing resilience, maturity, and compassion...there are plenty of grown ups in the world who would benefit greatly from her example.
Myself included.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Some Recent Things that Have Made me Proud
From before Leah was even speaking full sentences, or full words, for that matter, Ryan and I have tried to impress upon her the importance of being polite. A moment to teach never slipped through our fingers. We would prod her and remind her and constantly ask "What do you say?" when moments calling for "please" or "thank you" presented themselves. I've listened to her whine and moan for 30 minutes straight, ignoring her until she uttered the appropriate one and then regaling her with "That's my girl!", "What a good job!" and "You are getting SOOO big!". It seemed as if the day would never come.
And then, suddenly, it did.
Just a few days ago I was standing in the kitchen putting dishes away. Leah came in, walked over to me and said "Mommy, can you please get me a drink?" My heart swelled with pride and love and gratitude.
Earlier this evening, Leah was sitting in her rocking chair. Of course the rocking is as fast and crazy as it could possibly be and before long, her backward rock landed on Rusty's foot. He immediately got up and started to head upstairs to his retreat (under the desk in our room). I stopped him and called him over on the couch to comfort him and told Leah to leave him alone for a little while because he needed a break. This did not settle well, since she and Rusty are tight, she became immediately distraught at the idea of being separated from him. After a few minutes she'd worked herself into quite a frenzy so I decided to lift the Rusty ban and allowed her to give him a gentle hug.
She approached him slowly, tears still streaming, put her hands on either side of his face, crooning his name. She gently pet him and slowly moved in for a full body hug. She buried her head in his fur and gently said "Oh Rusty...poor honey...I'm so sorry I rocked on you! It was an accident! I was just trying to go faster! My poor Rusty!" and the tears started again in earnest. This was her first spontaneous "I'm sorry" and the moment moved me.
When I got home today Leah came running down the driveway to meet me. She climbed into the car and into the front seat. Before even saying hello, she gently reached down and rubbed my tummy and then looked at me and said "Mommy! Your tummy is getting smaller already!" and then preceded to buckle herself into her car seat.
We were driving home from the in-laws house one night last week. Leah was humming and singing like she usually does. Suddenly she says "Mommy and Daddy! I have a song for you!" and starts singing. "Its always much more fun....to try and write a song!" and we applaud her profusely. I thought it was cute of course, but the Ryan said "Don't you think it is kind of crazy that she even knows that songs are "written"...." Wow! How true!
Ryan and I try very hard to have healthy food choices available for Leah. We are both desperate to keep her from becoming the typical fat kid of fat parents. We regularly talk about fruits and veggies and why it is important to eat different foods. She knows that eating healthy will help her to grow big and tall and strong and just being reminded of that often stops her in her tantrum tracks about candy. So one day we were talking about having a snack. We walked together to the fridge and opened the door. I asked her what she wanted and after a very careful examination of the fridge contents said "I think I need some protein"....music to my ears.
Ryan and I are not religious people, but we both strive for spirituality and hope to give Leah a foundation to build on when it comes to religion and God and such. I have only done bedtime prayers a few times with Leah. The first time she had a lot of questions and seemed a little perplexed about who she was talking to when she prayed. A few weeks ago, Leah was sitting on my lap in a rare and treasured moment of stillness and I heard her mumbling. I asked her who she was talking to and she said "God". "Really?" I said, "What are you talking to him about?" "My thanks" she says and then continued in her sweet little sing-song voice "thanks for my mommy and my family and my house and my Rusty"...
I can't even begin to express all of the emotions that these stories evoke in me. Being Leah's mom has been such a joy and a gift. Can't imagine what else is in store.
And then, suddenly, it did.
Just a few days ago I was standing in the kitchen putting dishes away. Leah came in, walked over to me and said "Mommy, can you please get me a drink?" My heart swelled with pride and love and gratitude.
Earlier this evening, Leah was sitting in her rocking chair. Of course the rocking is as fast and crazy as it could possibly be and before long, her backward rock landed on Rusty's foot. He immediately got up and started to head upstairs to his retreat (under the desk in our room). I stopped him and called him over on the couch to comfort him and told Leah to leave him alone for a little while because he needed a break. This did not settle well, since she and Rusty are tight, she became immediately distraught at the idea of being separated from him. After a few minutes she'd worked herself into quite a frenzy so I decided to lift the Rusty ban and allowed her to give him a gentle hug.
She approached him slowly, tears still streaming, put her hands on either side of his face, crooning his name. She gently pet him and slowly moved in for a full body hug. She buried her head in his fur and gently said "Oh Rusty...poor honey...I'm so sorry I rocked on you! It was an accident! I was just trying to go faster! My poor Rusty!" and the tears started again in earnest. This was her first spontaneous "I'm sorry" and the moment moved me.
When I got home today Leah came running down the driveway to meet me. She climbed into the car and into the front seat. Before even saying hello, she gently reached down and rubbed my tummy and then looked at me and said "Mommy! Your tummy is getting smaller already!" and then preceded to buckle herself into her car seat.
We were driving home from the in-laws house one night last week. Leah was humming and singing like she usually does. Suddenly she says "Mommy and Daddy! I have a song for you!" and starts singing. "Its always much more fun....to try and write a song!" and we applaud her profusely. I thought it was cute of course, but the Ryan said "Don't you think it is kind of crazy that she even knows that songs are "written"...." Wow! How true!
Ryan and I try very hard to have healthy food choices available for Leah. We are both desperate to keep her from becoming the typical fat kid of fat parents. We regularly talk about fruits and veggies and why it is important to eat different foods. She knows that eating healthy will help her to grow big and tall and strong and just being reminded of that often stops her in her tantrum tracks about candy. So one day we were talking about having a snack. We walked together to the fridge and opened the door. I asked her what she wanted and after a very careful examination of the fridge contents said "I think I need some protein"....music to my ears.
Ryan and I are not religious people, but we both strive for spirituality and hope to give Leah a foundation to build on when it comes to religion and God and such. I have only done bedtime prayers a few times with Leah. The first time she had a lot of questions and seemed a little perplexed about who she was talking to when she prayed. A few weeks ago, Leah was sitting on my lap in a rare and treasured moment of stillness and I heard her mumbling. I asked her who she was talking to and she said "God". "Really?" I said, "What are you talking to him about?" "My thanks" she says and then continued in her sweet little sing-song voice "thanks for my mommy and my family and my house and my Rusty"...
I can't even begin to express all of the emotions that these stories evoke in me. Being Leah's mom has been such a joy and a gift. Can't imagine what else is in store.
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