Parental Ramblings

I fell asleep on the couch last night and therefore woke to Leah climbing on me in search of even the tiniest space to squeeze into so we could snuggle. When she finally settled down I could feel her looking at me so I opened my eyes. As I looked up, she put her little hand on my forehead, gently stroked my face all the way down to my chin, and then leaned in slowly and planted the sweetest little kiss on my forehead. Logically I know that she is probably just repeating an action I've no doubt done to her countless times. But deep in my heart it felt like an act of love from an older soul. Who knew such a simple moment could have the power to stop you in your tracks and thank God, right then and there, for such an amazing gift? I had no idea that I was deserving of so much love.

I so wish my mom was still alive so that I could share these kinds of things with her. On one level, I know she is out there somewhere, watching and loving from a distance. But to be able to tell her, face to face, that I finally get it! I get what it means to love someone so much that just the thought of losing them can rip your heart to shreds. To look at someone and want so badly to be able to teach them by sharing your own mistakes yet knowing, that if she is anything like me (and boy is she ever), that she'll need to learn it the hard way, by making those same mistakes herself. I look at her and I want to give her the answers and help her avoid some of the heartache along the way.

Then I remember being a teenager. My mother would make suggestions for how to live my life. She wanted me to be able to avoid the pain she'd endured. When I didn't take them into consideration, I almost always came out the other side wishing that I had. I can't tell you how many times I've thought "Oh My God! She WAS right! DAMNIT!!! Not again!!!". And yet I know in my heart that Leah will put me through some, if not all, of the same things.

I pray that I'll be around to gloat...oh, no, wait a minute, I mean LISTEN when she reaches the same conclusions about me!

At one point in my life, I remember thinking that I would never have children. I loved kids, don't get me wrong. I probably spent more hours babysitting in high school than I did in class. But there was always this deep seated feeling that parenthood wasn't for me. I even remember one time seriously considering getting a hysterectomy so that I could just avoid any chance of children all together.

And yet, 15 years later, here I am. Unable to define myself without mention of my child. So completely absorbed in her growth and development that I often find myself wondering just what the hell I did with myself before she came along! How crazy is that? I mean, I was 31 years old when I had Leah. That is a lot of years to go by without a purpose! Until she came a long, I was drifting. Now, my path is clear. To do for her any and everything I can to make her strong, confident, responsible and loving.

Based on her gentle kiss from this morning, I'd say we can consider the "loving" part taken care of. God grant me the strength to teach her the rest!

Greyhound Expo and Fly Ball Competition

As dog lovers, Ryan, Leah and I like to attend anything and everthing that has to do with those 4 legged cuties. On the weekend of Ryan's Birthday, there were two events going on at the Hamburg Fairgrounds, which is probably less than 2 miles from our house.

Leah gave every single dog she met a kiss or a hug around the neck. I think she might be an aspiring veterinarian!This is her and "Garth Brooks", one of the Flyball champs:

A "Thank you so much for bringing me to this great place!!!" hug for daddy:

If you've never seen a Flyball Competition, here's a sneak peak:

A Trip to the East

A few weeks ago, Leah and I traveled to Argyle to visit my sister and her family and my father. Here are some of the things we did...

A visit to my sister's horse barn.

Me and Oscar:Leah in the barn:

A Visit to Aunt Helen's House

It is always so nice to catch up with family but even a long weekend is never enough time to spend!

Dancin'!

Ryan, Leah and I attended the first annual "Buffalo Pizza Fest" this past weekend. It was an all-out extravaganza featuring crazy pizza creations like Roast Beef on Weck Pizza, Big Mac Pizza and Philly Cheesesteak Pizza. You could sample creative creations from about 25 different pizzerias and all day long there were lots of kid friendly events. Leah was in her glory! She got a free t-shirt, made her own pizza (even as visions of swine flu danced in my head as she was reaching into the vat of shredded cheese that god knows how many other kids had dipped into as well), got an air brush tatoo, jumped in the bounce house, got to meet Spongebob and Dora and even have a seat in "Kit"....remember the Knight Rider? It was quite a day! As usual, Leah had Ryan and I in stitches with her antics. Here is an example (notice how she seems to stay away from the crowd and do her own thing!):