The Power of Simple Prayer

On Sunday night, I was crying just before going to bed. The reason was because Ryan and I had decided that Monday was the day to "begin our new lives". When he kissed me on the cheek and said "We can do this...we HAVE to do this...I don't want someone else raising our daughter", I burst into tears saying "I'm afraid I won't be able to!!".

After he reassured me and the tears had stopped flowing, I said "God, please help me do this, I am not strong enough on my own".

When I woke up in the morning, I happily prepared 2 healthy lunches, one for me and one for Leah. It happened without any thought or decision making on my part. I simply walked to the refrigerator and did it.

I went to work and went on about my business. On at least 2 separate occasions during the day, a voice that I did not recognize as my own in my head said "No...you don't really want to go in there" when I started walking toward the office where I knew the candy bowl was.

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I never ate lunch. However, some power greater than I kept me from stopping for fast food on the way home.

At 9:00pm when I realized we were out of milk and a few other essentials, I took a trip to the store. As I wandered by the ice cream cases, again, the voice rang loud and clear "that's not what you came here for. And, besides, you don't want to ruin the progress you've made so far." And with the exception of some dog bones, I left the store with only those items on my list. I did not feel deprived, I did not feel angry. Not once could I hear the typical voice which is so definitely my own saying things like "Oh, what the hell...you only live once...there's always tomorrow to lose that weight!"

And then finally, when I got back home and decided I wanted a snack, I chose a light yogurt instead of an entire bag of "Movie Theatre Butter" popcorn which is my usual.

What I am trying to point out here is that just minutes before I prayed my simple prayer for help, the only voice I could hear was my own, goading me and tempting me into continued misery. I don't know if the voice I heard was God's or my subconscious, but I do know that it is a gift from someone or something other than me. Even with all of my best intentions, I could not make it happen on my own...but as soon as I asked for help it was given.

So, thanks to this help, I've managed to stay on track! I am using the Weight Watchers points system and have kept up with a food journal. Today is day 4 and I still have the willingness to do the work....this is what was lacking before.

Hallelujah!